


Linearity

by boleynhowards



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, kara is injured :(, s5 reveal rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27126043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleynhowards/pseuds/boleynhowards
Summary: After finding out she’s Supergirl, Lena wants Kara gone. Out of her life. Goodbye.At least, that’s what she thinks. That all changes when suddenly, one day, Kara is actually almost gone.And it’s in Lena’s hands to save her.(or: another season 5 rewrite)
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 394





	Linearity

When Lex, hunched under an array of monitors confirming the bitter truth of his words, told Lena that Kara Danvers was Supergirl, Lena became numb. Once that piece of information had come to the light, and with irrefutable proof to back it up playing in a loop before her eyes, it was like she felt so much at once that her body just decided to flick a switch and make her feel nothing at all to compensate.

For a while, she simply stood there in the wake of the news, as if she could process it more efficiently if she just took a moment to breathe. Then, out of the blue, she raised the gun she had used to shoot Lex with, and shot a spray of bullets at each of the monitors, no care in the world for how expensive they were, not even considering the fact that each of them definitely had an off button hidden somewhere. She just needed the images to go away. The truth to go away.

Destroying the evidence did not destroy the fact, though. Kara Danvers was Supergirl. Nothing was going to change that. Nothing was going to change the way that Kara, and all of her friends, had been lying to her for the past how ever many years. Nothing was going to change the way that Kara, her most supportive and trusted friend, was also Supergirl, the woman who didn’t trust her for something as trivial as her last name. Nothing was going to change the fact that Lena was a fool, and had fallen for all the lies and half truths that Kara had told her over the years, desperate not to confront something that was in front of her face this whole time.

Even after she made the shots, Lena still stood there for a little while longer. Sliding the revolver back into the pocket of her coat, she allowed the one stray tear that streamed down her cheek to dry up before she made her move. Not that she wanted to leave the cabin of her childhood, though; it felt much better to stay here. Even amongst the shattered glass of state of the art technology sprinkled all over the floor and the smell of her brother’s corpse filling the air like industrial smog, Lena preferred it here than outside.

Outside was a world with the truth; a world where Kara Danvers was Supergirl. Inside, Lena could pretend that Kara Danvers and Supergirl were two separate and distinct people, entirely different entities, forever and ever.

If only.

Lena finally unrooted herself from place and tentatively approached the corpse of Lex. Despite the morbid curiosity swimming around her gut, she made sure not to glance up at his face, terrified to see what he looked like. Would his eyes still be whirring with insanity after his death? Maybe they would finally be empty, hollowed out and glassed over. She didn’t know which thought was scarier, and didn’t want to find out.

Carefully, she lifted up his arm, silently thankful that rigor mortis hadn’t settled in just yet. That still didn’t excuse the harshness of the situation or how disgusted she felt even doing this though, so she was quick to swipe the transmatter portal watch off of his limp wrist and pocket it as her own.

It did not take long to get the watch working, and soon enough she was walking out of the cabin through a purple portal and stepping into the living room of her penthouse, as if she had been there all along. Still, she did not allow herself to rest just yet. Instantly drawing her blinds and triple checking there were no prying eyes around, Lena pulled the gun she had used just moments ago back out of her pocket and rested it on the counter. She stood there, scrubbing it over with alcoholic wipes until she was certain not a trace of herself was left on it, and then carefully packed it up in a plastic bag. She would dispose of it later.

Sitting down on one of her couches, Lena took her phone out only to see a few messages from Kara, Alex and Nia, all asking where she was. Her eyebrows furrowed, wondering if they knew that she knew, but then her eyes fell onto the notification just underneath the string of texts.

Calendar. Ten minutes ago. Game night. J’onn’s place.

Lena sighed. Of course, that had to be tonight. Right now, just after killing her brother and wiping clean the evidence, she had scheduled to sit down with her friends (if she could even call them that anymore) and play stupid boardgames all night long. A large part of her was begging her not to go; to crack open a bottle of white wine by herself and drink away her sorrows. Instead, she packed that bottle of white, and a red for good measure, into a bag and set off on a brisk walk to J’onn’s.

When she arrived not long after, letting herself in through the door rather than knocking and waiting, there was a chorus of different happy greetings.

“Hey!” from J’onn.

“Hi,” from Kelly.

“Here she is,” from Alex.

A long, drawn out cheer from Kara as she leant back on her chair, waving her arm in an excited wave. Even from the distance Lena was at, she could see the joy in Kara’s bright blue eyes. Usually, that sight would stir all sorts of giddy emotions inside of Lena. This time, it brought on a confusing mixture of seemingly, well, everything; anger for keeping the secret, relief as she always had when seeing Kara’s smile, confusion because what did she do to be thrown out of the loop?

It was too much hitting her at once. So she decided to feel none of it at all. Her brows furrowed as she glanced around at the group, until she was finally pulled from her innermost thoughts and back into reality by Kara — no, Supergirl — asking her where she had been.

There was a single second’s pause, but it was enough time for Lena to decide her strategy onward. She dropped the stoney, conflicted expression and instead flashed a small smile before digging into her bag before triumphantly pulling out one of the wine bottles she had tucked away in there.

“I didn’t know what to bring so I brought red and white.”

That certainly sounded much better than telling the truth.  _ ‘Yeah, sorry I’m late, I was just cleaning my fingerprints off of the weapon I killed my brother with. Oh, and he told me you were Supergirl and that all of you have been lying to me with his last breaths.’ _ That statement just didn’t have as much of a ring to it. Besides, it was nothing at all compared to the lie that these people had been spinning for years long now.

There were more cheers from the Superfriends as Lena approached the circle, setting the wine bottle and her bag onto one of the surrounding tables before taking the empty seat next to J’onn. The happiness of the group was contagious, but not in the way that Lena felt herself becoming happy too. No, rather in the way that Lena could feel it sinking into her skin and pressing against every single bone in her body, travelling through her veins like a disease. It was a reminder that Lena could not be happy with them, and it was irking enough that she wanted to claw herself open and rip it out by hand.

Despite barely remembering any of it as soon as she was out the door, the night seemed to drag on for Lena. It had lost its novelty, the joyful spark that she always seemed to get inside her heart whenever she attended game nights with the group suddenly doused out.

At no point, despite her Oscar-worthy pretence, did she feel comfortable during the night. No, Lena only felt out of place. It didn’t take much for her to connect the dots, and she no longer felt like she was playing a half competitive, half friendly game of cards over drinks. Rather, Lena felt like the stick in the mud. The Luthor playing cards with Dreamer and Brainiac 5 and Martian Manhunter and Director Danvers of the DEO and  _ Supergirl _ . God knows, Kelly probably had some hidden superpowers too. It wasn’t like Lena was trusted to know.

Still, even with all of this discomfort, all of these feelings of being out of place, Lena kept her mouth shut and kept on going through the motions. Maybe it was the thought of destroying her pristine routine, or maybe (and more likely so) it was the fact that she had simply turned off her emotions so she didn’t have to deal with them, and now she didn’t know how to react. Whichever way, everything remained unchanged.

Monday middays were for lunch with Kara. Tuesday mornings were for perfecting prototypes of L-Corp technology. Wednesday afternoons were for gratuitously turning down business deals with misogynistic businessmen. Thursday evenings were for dinner with Kara. Friday nights were for game night.

Lena continued to go through the motions of her life as she always had, just this time, there was no feeling or emotion behind any of her actions. Of course, she maintained a believable attitude throughout her schedule, reacting perfectly and expectedly to just about everything that happened. Nobody suspected anything was wrong. Her Luthor upbringing did have some benefits, Lena decided.

Things were different though, and they were wrong. There was no longer an excited flare inside of her on Monday middays. Gone was the pride that swelled in her gut when she perfected an L-Corp prototype on a Tuesday morning. Satisfaction was unreachable on Wednesday afternoons. Contentment didn’t exist on Thursday evenings. Game night didn’t bring the fun it used to on Friday nights.

There was nothing. The scales had not been entirely tipped; Lena might have stopped being happy, but she wasn’t sad either. She was void. When the truth sucked the light from her life, it seemed to have, whether accidentally or on purpose, swallowed the darkness up too. Nothing was important anymore. Everything just got bottled up because Lena didn’t know how to deal with it, didn’t know how to react, knew she couldn’t react because Kara wasn’t supposed to know that Lena knew. She was trapped, uncomfortably wedged between depression and ecstasy, suspended in the limbo that was the space between truth and lie.

Until Kara decided to do what Lena never expected her to do. She told Lena she was Supergirl.

After weeks and weeks of holding everything in, cycling through her routine as if nothing was wrong, it only took Kara’s own confession for the dam Lena had built inside of herself to come crashing down. The icy numbness that had solidified inside of her thawed with ease, melted away as if it was nothing. Only to be replaced indescribable anger. Magma hot, violently erupting and riling up every unaddressed emotion to Lena’s surface.

The first thing Lena did as soon as her fuse was blown was throw a punch; one that was so hard, backed by so much fury that, if it had landed on Kara’s body of steel, all of the bones in Lena’s arm surely would have shattered. Luckily, Kara had the initiative to take a few steps back before that happened, and it was the air that got dealt Lena’s vengeful fist. Unfortunately, the missed blow only seemed to enrage Lena even more, as if the pain that would come from the hit was worth making it. Maybe she wanted the pain. It would be nice to feel something.

“Lena…” Kara began, but stopped almost immediately after. What else was there to say that she hadn’t said already? What good was apologising over and over again for something that was unforgivable? Her eyes, which were already glossing over with tears, began to spill out.

“No.” Lena snapped, fists clenched and shaking at her sides. “Don’t even say my name. It’s not like I know yours.”

“Le-” said Kara again, but this time she stopped herself halfway through considering what Lena had said to her. “Please, just, I-”

“You what? You’re sorry?”

Kara nodded. Lena laughed in her face.

“Oh, so now you’re sorry. Now you’re sorry, after lying to me for years. After I told you everything, after I showed you my Achilles heel and you still used it against me. After I sat in your home, and spoke to you, and laughed and cried to you, revealed every part of myself to you, and now you’re sorry. Sorry after playing me like a fool this whole time, sorry after I gave you all of myself and you gave me this washed down, half identity. No, Kara. You’re probably not even sorry for that. You’re just sorry that your game is up, that now I have to find out.”

“What?” Kara’s eyes widened, and she began to splutter over her words. “No, I- please, Lena, I never said that. Please. I just… I don’t want to lose you.”

“You already have.”

“No, please. Think about us, Lena. Our friendship. I don’t want to lose that. Surely… surely you don’t want to, either.”

“You said it yourself, didn’t you?” Lena asked, and Kara just looked confused. “You’re Supergirl. And Supergirl and I are  _ not  _ friends.”

“I’m Kara too!”

“What’s the difference?”

A silence. Kara had no comeback. The only sound in the room was the gulps Kara made as she swallowed back her own tears, looking at Lena like a lost puppy, desperate for her to reconsider her decision. Lena was unmoving.

Eventually, Kara kicked off the balcony and flew off into the night. Only then did Lena finally allow herself to cry too. She closed the shutters and locked her office and balcony door, snatched a bottle of scotch from the wine rack at the side of her room and didn’t even bother to pour it into a glass before chugging a few mouthfuls down. Lillian Luthor would kill her for forgetting her manners. Lena would welcome death.

It took many ghosted messages and countless more explosive arguments for Kara to finally leave Lena alone after that night. Lena was beginning to think that she was never going to give up, that everyday would bring Kara to her doorstep in some way, and each of these confrontations would end in at least one, but usually both of them, with teary eyes and voices hoarse from yelling. She did though. Daily drop ins became phone calls became text messages became nothing.

Kara Danvers was out of Lena’s life.

Lena still didn’t feel better. Throughout every betrayal in her life, the common pattern that she had always noticed was that she instantly seemed to do better as soon as she cut the person off. Whether it was her press, her business, her stocks, or just her mood in general, things seemed to lift off with each negative person that Lena cut out of her life. So why was it taking so long with Kara? Why was Lena still hurting, long after everything had taken place?

Kara was gone, but Lena did not feel at all happier. The complete opposite, in fact; Lena was miserable. Monday middays, Thursday evenings and Friday nights were now reserved for moping and drinking. Tuesday mornings and Wednesday afternoons were not as fun as they used to be, if fun could even be used as a word to describe them anymore. Lena might not have been numb anymore, but the numbness inside of her had taken to infecting the world around her instead.

Still, Lena wasn’t going to give in. She had too much pride to run back to Kara, not after everything that had happened. As much as she was tempted to, Kara was not an exception to her moral code. Liars were liars no matter who they were, and Lena did not give liars second chances.

Escaping Kara entirely seemed to be an impossible task, however. Sure, she had quit sending texts to Lena’s phone, but that didn’t mean Lena didn’t see her around. Supergirl was still plastered across the front page of near enough every magazine in National City. Footage of her latest feats was still played over every news station in the city. Sometimes, Lena even saw the woman behind the hero on the National City streets, sitting in cafe shop windows and bustling from place to place. She didn’t look like she used to. The bouncy, cheerful atmosphere that followed her around had dissipated. Lena didn’t want to speculate, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

Even remnants of Kara were inescapable. Though less frequent, Dreamer also popped up in news reports and was discussed over radio broadcasts. Nia Nal was often to be found on the city streets and, where she was, more often than not, so was Brainy. There was always a sense of yearning in Lena’s heart whenever she saw any two or more members of the Superfriends hanging out together, whether they were walking through the city, peeking into the windows of a highstreet store or something else entirely. Something  _ super _ . She always perished the feelings as soon as they came, though. The quicker she learnt to stop dwelling on it, the quicker she would be able to drop that part of her life, and those people, from her mind.

There was one time that stood out from the others, though. It was a night that she was working late at L-Corp. The sun had long since set, the sky had darkened to an inky black and the streets had mostly emptied.  _ Mostly _ . As Lena waited around for her chauffeur back to her penthouse, she couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of the couple across the street. Or, more importantly, recognise one of the voices.

It was Kara. Kara and a man who’s voice she did not recognise, but that didn’t matter. What did matter was that they were intimate. Flirting. Lena could tell. Jealousy churned inside of her, and part of her was tempted to do something to stop the interaction from happening, but what could she do? Why would she, anyway? What Kara did was none of her business now. If she wanted to go out late at night, attached to some man’s side, Lena certainly wasn’t going to stop her.

What Lena was going to do was ignore the fact that Kara’s flirting was strikingly similar to how she spoke in a good portion of the conversations they shared whilst still friends. That was irrelevant. Right?

Right. Lena needed to stop thinking down those alleys, stop revisiting the past. She really tried.

A month or so went by of this routine. Lena still never found herself settling into it. The Superfriends, and Supergirl, were still constantly on her mind, if not constantly in the streets or constantly on the news. There was no escape.

And then her phone screen lit up with a call from the DEO.

She hadn’t deleted the number, simply because it was the contact for a confidential governmental organisation, which she considered herself pretty lucky to have. Still, she didn’t expect herself receiving a call from it ever again. That was exactly why she was filled with nerves as soon as she registered the contact name, and wasted no time in picking the call up.

“Lena.”

It was Alex Danvers’ voice, scratchy and muffled at the end of the line. For some reason, Lena felt a little bit of disappointment run through her at that. Of course, she shouldn’t have expected otherwise - Alex was the director of the organisation, who else was going to call her? Even so, a silent part of her couldn’t help but guiltily wish that it was the other sister who had made the call.

“Director Danvers.”

“It’s about Ka- Supergirl.” Alex said, “Kryptonite. Not the normal type, though. We believe it’s synthetic, and it’s been modified to… it has the same effects as green, but we can’t get it out of her system. We’ve tried everything. Listen, I know you’re mad at her, but-”

Lena was a little offended that Alex thought she needed to convince her to come and help, but didn’t comment on it. There was a much more dire situation going on.

“You don’t need to explain. Are you at the DEO?”

“Yes. Are you coming?”

“Yes. Please set up a lab for me, and prepare all your current research.”

“Got it. See you soon.”

Lena didn’t bother to respond. She was already in the elevator by the time Alex hung up, impatiently waiting for it to reach the bottom even though it was common fact that L-Corp had the fastest elevators in the state. Even so, it didn’t feel fast enough. Not when Kara was in danger.

Kara. Kryptonite. Can’t get it out of her system. Deadly.

Kara might die.

Kara might die, and she thinks Lena is mad at her.

As soon as the elevator doors slid open, Lena was running even quicker than she had been before. No one bothered to try to stop her, thank god, and in what must have been a new personal record, Lena was checking in at the entrance of the DEO. Alex was waiting there for her, and was quick to guide her to the lab that had been set up and sitting ready for her arrival.

Instantly, Lena got to work. She had barely shrugged on her lab coat and slid on her protective goggles, hair already tied out the way, before she was flicking through what little information the DEO had extracted from the Kryptonite. There was no clock on the wall, and the DEO was doing the best they could to elongate the process, but Lena could still hear the ticking of the time left until Kara’s death by this new Kryptonite came to be.

Where all others would fall, the pressure made Lena work faster, smarter and harder. She had never felt determination like this before; all the motivation she had for her previous projects was easily trumped by the absolute necessity she held herself at to complete this one. After many instances of trial and error, hours spent examining and investigating the sample of the Kryptonite and then finely tracing through and altering the genetic code, Lena was done.

The end result was a clear liquid in a small vial. It didn’t look like much; in fact, most people would have mistaken it for some fancily packaged water, but Lena was confident that it was what Kara needed. As soon as it was done, she was bursting from her lab, almost crashing straight into a concerned Alex who was waiting outside.

“Inject it.” Lena explained, handing the vial over. She nearly sounded breathless, the panic she had been keeping at bay to focus on her work finally catching up with her. “It doesn’t matter where. It should decay away the Kryptonite.”

“Thank you.” Alex breathed, and then she was immediately jogging off into the direction of the medical wing. Lena stood there and watched her shrink away for a few moments, wondering what she was supposed to do next. Pack herself up and leave? Stay here until she was dismissed?

Go and see Kara?

For the past month she had been avoiding her, but now all Lena wanted to do was go and see her. To talk to her, to make sure she was alright. Not even her pride could stop Lena now. The sirens of her moral code blaring around her skull were nothing compared to the desperation to see Kara right now. After almost losing her like this, Lena needed to talk to her. Dignity be damned.

It didn’t take long for Lena to catch up with Alex, but she still stayed a few steps behind her. After all this time, she didn’t know where she was allowed and where she wasn’t anymore. She began to worry that, even though she wanted to see Kara, Kara might not want to see  _ her _ .

But she had to try. Kara at least had to know that she tried.

When she reached the ward that Alex had walked into, Lena lingered at the door for a few seconds before ultimately deciding to hang around outside. If this worked how it should, and Kara woke up any time now, Lena was sure that the people she would want around her were going to be the people who had not been pretending she didn’t exist for the past month. So she stayed outside, simply watching through the window that thankfully was there, peering over the tense shoulders of the Superfriends that crowded around the bed to try and see if her antidote was working.

She couldn’t see Kara through the wall of people, and Lena couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, she just wanted to know that her condition was improving. On the other, she didn’t know if she could handle the sight of her right now. Crumpled up, pained and tortured over a hospital bed. It made her sick just thinking about it.

Besides, she had a lot to think about right now. How she had just rebelled against every fibre of her being, gone against her conduct she had held herself against for her whole life to come and see Kara despite everything that had happened between them both. Yet, even though she should have been scolding herself, Lena didn’t care. Gone was her insistence to shut Kara out, to never forgive her, replaced by desperation to see her, concern for her health. It was like when the numbness had disappeared to be replaced by the anger, only this time the anger was being replaced with something between affection and fear.

Lena didn’t know how to handle the onslaught of emotions, but she did know now that the definite wrong course of action was to bottle them up and numb them away. She wasn’t going to make that mistake twice.

Before she could think about it more, she was flooded with relief when the postures of the Superfriends surrounding the bed all seemed to relax; an indication that the cure had worked.

Kara was going to be okay. She was going to live. If Lena was alone, she might have cried tears of joy.

The Superfriends didn’t leave Kara’s room after that, and about ten minutes later Kara must have woken up, judging by the second wave of joy that flooded the room. Lena continued to watch from the ward window, desperate to be in the room too; to share the experience, to tell Kara how glad she was that she was alive. She stayed at the window.

Thirty more minutes of the Superfriends hanging out at Kara’s bedside before Nia Nal turned around and spotted Lena at the window, still watching. Her smile dropped for a moment, and Lena feared she was going to be asked to leave, but then her face contorted to a look of pity. Turning around, Lena watched as Nia told the rest of the ward that she was standing there, and was just about ready to make her leave until, one by one, the Superfriends began to trail out.

Alex was last, shutting the door carefully behind her before turning to Lena.

“She wants to speak to you.”

“What?”

“Kara asked to speak to you. Privately.”

“I-” Lena had been hoping for it, but she hadn’t been expecting it. “Okay.”

“Wait. Before you go.” Alex didn’t move to let Lena in just yet. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Alex.”

“No. I… You had every right to say no today, but you still came in. If it wasn’t for you… I don’t think Kara would be alive right now.”

“I would never let her die.”

“Right. Thank you.”

Alex nodded her head. Lena shrugged. There was still a lot to unpack between them both as well, but right now Lena was just desperate to get into the ward and speak to Kara. Especially because Kara had asked for her. Luckily, Alex stepped out of the way now.

As soon as the door was shut behind her, Lena was speeding across the room. Kara looked weak, sun lamps beating down on her and a dazed look in her eyes, that were even bluer than Lena remembered, but she definitely looked well enough for someone who just had poison coursing through their body. Lena slid into one of the chairs that had been pulled out previously, the one closest to Kara’s head.

“Lena.” Kara smiled, slowly tilting her head to look at her. “Alex told me… it was you, who made the antidote. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Lena said for the millionth time that day. She found herself leaning in a little closer, and her eyes threatened to spill out with tears of all emotions.

“No,” Kara insisted, “I do. Let me. I have so much to apologise for, so much to give back to you, but-”

“Save that. At least, right now, save it for later.” Lena intercepted. Without even thinking about it, she reached across and took Kara’s hand in hers. “Please, just let me be happy you’re alive right now.”

A pause. Kara considered it. And then, “Okay.”

They stayed like that. Lena didn’t let go of Kara’s hand, slowly feeling the warmth coming back to it. Other than the faint humming of the sun lamps and the footsteps of DEO agents walking around outside, silence surrounded them, but it was not an uncomfortable silence as one might have expected. Rather, it was a welcomed, much needed quiet. A slice of peace, something that seemed to do a world of good for them both, as if they just needed to sit in each other’s presence, to remind themselves that they needed each other and to make up for the time spent apart.

Two days after that, following rigorous tests and finally getting the okay from the DEO, Kara was allowed to leave the infirmary and continue her duties as Supergirl. That also meant that what she was going to tell Lena but had ultimately put off was now at the top of her list of priorities. A few texts were sent back and forth between them both, and it was agreed that Kara would come to Lena’s office and then they would finally talk, because that just seemed to be the place where everything happened.

After darkness had fallen over the city, when no one was left in L-Corp other than Lena herself, did Kara fly over. She landed on the balcony, dropping gently down and letting herself in through the doors that were already open for her. Lena sat on the couch, workday finished, and beckoned Kara over. Two glasses of wine had been poured out and waited readily on the coffee table and, by the looks of it, Lena had already snuck a few sips of hers.

“Hi.” Kara spoke, taking the seat next to Lena.

“Hello.” Lena responded, glancing over at Kara. Her heart raced in her chest. It was the closest she had been to her, other than the day before, since Kara had told her her secret. And that definitely did not end well.

“Okay. So,” Kara drew a long breath, rubbing her clammy palms on the knees of her jeans before speaking again. “We need to talk.”

“We do.”

“About us. About me. Supergirl.”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I know I said it a billion times before, and I’ll say it a billion more times, just please know that I am. I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and… Rao, I can’t say sorry enough, Lena.”

“I forgive you.”

“What?”

Kara didn’t expect it to come this easily, and that showed in the pure shock that sprung across her face.

“I said I forgive you.”

“But… after… so soon?”

“Kara.” Lena sighed outwardly, leaning forward and furrowing her eyebrows as she struggled to think of a way to word her feelings. “I was angry at you, yes. I saw you like you were everybody else in my life who had betrayed me, grouped you up with those people without thinking rationally about it.”

“Rationally?”

“I started to think less about  _ what  _ you did and more about  _ why  _ you did it. Even though it hurt me, that was never your original intention. What really started to hurt me was losing you, and having only the memories of our friendship to look back on. Seeing you on the street, and the others too, not being a part of your lives anymore, and none of you a part of mine… that is what has hurt me most these past months. Not you.”

Kara blinked in surprise.

“I should still apologise.”

“Kara, you have apologised enough. Let me.”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“I let anger blind me. I blew up at you, and hurt us both in the process. I didn’t bother to think of things through your perspective, and the only thing that got me to snap out of it was almost losing you. I know you want to carry all the blame here, but please let me take my part.”

A pause. Kara considered it. And then, “Okay.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

Another pause. Kara spoke again.

“So, what now?”

“From now on, only honesty. Okay?”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.” Kara managed a small smile, and Lena did too.

“Me neither.” Lena shook her head. “So, I need to make it clear.”

“Hm?”

“It’s… It’s going to be difficult I think.” On Kara’s perplexed expression, Lena continued. “For me to get used to the fact that you and Supergirl are one and the same.”

“Ah. Right. No worries. I’ll be patient.”

“Thank you.”

Kara just nodded, and then there was another pause, longer than the other ones until she spoke again.

“Lena?” she suddenly sounded nervous.

“Yes?”

“Do you think we’ll be the same again? As we were?”

She sounded so vulnerable, so nervous at the prospect of losing what they had. Lena wanted to envelope her in a reassuring hug, but refrained. Instead, she used her words.

“Reconciliation is not linear, Kara. But it is always moving forward.” Lena responded. “It will be a bumpy road, and we still have many more conversations to have after this one, but we’re on the right track. We will not just become the same again. We will become more.”

That seemed to rejuvenate Kara, and she sat up, as if filled with new determination and confidence.

They stayed in the office well into the night after that, neither one of them wanting to leave. After seeing each other near enough everyday and texting in the gaps, being absent for a month definitely gave them a lot to talk about. And that they did.

Sipping on her white wine, Lena sat back and relaxed. She laughed at Kara’s jokes, her anecdotes, her stories. She told her own recounts of particularly crazy days at L-Corp over the past month, trying but failing not to burst out laughing at Kara’s shocked face when she heard some of them.

For the first time in months, Lena felt something other than numbness and anger, something different to jealousy and bitterness.

She was happy.

She had Kara back.

All was becoming as it used to be and more. All was well.


End file.
